.Editor's Details: The complying with is the message of a character coming from Exploration Three Commander Frank L. Culbertson (Leader, USN Resigned), reassessing the occasions of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not written significantly concerning specifics of this particular mission during the course of the month I've been actually listed here, primarily for pair of causes: the initial being actually that there has actually been actually quite little time to carry out that kind of writing, as well as second of all because I'm unsure just how pleasant I am actually discussing ideas I show to family and friends along with the remainder of the globe.Properly, obviously the planet transformed today. What I state or perform is really slight reviewed to the importance of what occurred to our nation today when it was assaulted by ... by whom? Revolutionaries is all we know, I guess. Challenging to recognize at whom to drive our temper as well as fear ...I had just ended up a variety of activities this morning, one of the most taxing being the physical examinations of all staff participants. In a personal talk complying with that, the tour specialist told me they were possessing an extremely negative day on the ground. I possessed no tip ...He defined the situation to me as ideal he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually dumbfounded, then alarmed. My first thought and feelings was actually that this had not been a true chat, that I was still listening to one of my Tom Clancy strips. It only didn't seem to be possible on this incrustation in our country. I could not even think of the particulars, also prior to the information of more devastation began can be found in.Vladimir dropped in rather rapidly, sensing that something extremely severe was being discussed. I swayed Michael right into the module at the same time. They were additionally surprised and also stunned. After our experts authorized off, I tried to reveal to Vladimir and also Michael as best I could the possible measurement of the act of horror in midtown New york and at the Government. They clearly comprehended as well as were really considerate.I glanced at the Planet Chart on the computer to observe where over the globe our team were and observed that our experts were actually happening southeast away from Canada as well as would certainly be passing over New England in a handful of minutes. I zoomed around the terminal up until I located a home window that would offer me a view of NYC as well as nabbed the nearby camera. It took place to be a video camera, and I was looking south from the window of Michael's cabin.The smoke seemed to possess a strange flower to it at the base of the column that was actually streaming south of the city. After reviewing one of the newspaper article we only got, I feel we were examining NY around the moment of, or quickly after, the failure of the second high rise. Just how horrible ...I panned the cam the whole time the East Coast to the south to observe if I could see some other smoke cigarettes around Washington, or even anywhere else, but nothing showed up.It was actually rather tough to deal with job afterwards, though we possessed some to perform, but on the upcoming track our company crossed the United States additional south. All three of us were operating one or two electronic cameras to try to get sights of New york city or even Washington. There was actually fog over Washington, yet no certain source may be observed. Everything appeared extraordinary from a couple of hundred kilometers away. I can not picture the tragic settings on the ground.Other than the psychological effect of our nation being actually attacked and hundreds of our people as well as perhaps some pals being actually gotten rid of, the most mind-boggling feeling being actually where I am actually is one of solitude.Next time ... I presume the fatigue as well as psychological pressure got the very best of me. I could not remain awake as well as continue to compose. Today was actually still tough, however our experts started obtaining additional information, plus we possessed the tribute of speaking directly with the Facility Director, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our team that the ground staffs would certainly continue to operate as well as ensure our security, in addition to the safe operation of the Place. Our company likewise spoke with our Supervisor, Mr. Goldin, who incorporated that the partners in the Program are actually all completely dedicated to carrying on risk-free procedures and assistance. These were actually never questions for me. I understand all these folks! The ground staffs have actually been surprisingly supporting, extremely understanding of the effect of the news, and also have actually attempted to become as helpful as achievable. They have actually all been extremely expert as well as concentrated though I can't picture the disturbance of the kind of headlines coming in and the thought that government properties may be at risk. They certainly never bypassed a beat, also when moving control centers. And a group of elderly employees and buddies provided us a pretty comprehensive briefing on what was understood and what was actually being carried out in the federal government and at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was actually quite useful and also kind of all of them to accomplish in the midst of all the turmoil. The Russian TsUP has actually additionally been supporting and also beneficial, making an effort to uplink newspaper article when our own possessions were actually inoperable, as well as mentioning kind phrases ...My crewmates have actually been actually wonderful, too. They know it's been actually a challenging day for me and also the folks on the ground, and they've attempted to be as even keeled as well as practical as achievable. Michael also fixed me my beloved Borscht soup for dinner. As well as they give me loads of room to assume when I required it. They are extremely sympathetic and also obviously shocked at whoever would certainly perform this.I understand numerous individuals in Washington, many individuals that journey to DC as well as NYC, many that are aviators, that I felt sure I would certainly acquire a minimum of a couple of pieces of bad news over the following few times. I received the 1st one today when I found out that the Captain of the American Airlines plane that hit the Pentagon was Chic Burlingame, a friend of mine. I came across Chic during the course of cadet summer months when our experts were in the D&B all together, and our experts had lots of classes together. I can not visualize what he has to of undergone, as well as right now I hear that he may possess increased even more than our team can easily also consider by potentially stopping his aircraft from being the one to tackle the White Property. What a horrible loss, yet I ensure Chic was battling bravely throughout. And also tears don't move the exact same in space ...It's challenging to explain exactly how it really feels to be the only American completely off the planet at once like this. The sensation that I must exist with all of you, taking care of this, assisting somehow, is actually overwhelming. I recognize that our team get on the limit (or beyond) of an awful shift in the past of the planet. Several things will definitely never be the same again after September 11, 2001. Not simply for the 1000s as well as thousands of folks straight impacted through these horrible process of terrorism, however most likely for everyone. Our experts will definitely locate our own selves really feeling in a different way concerning dozens of factors, consisting of possibly room expedition, sadly.It's horrendous to observe smoke cigarettes putting coming from cuts in your personal nation coming from such a superb viewpoint. The dichotomy of getting on a spacecraft dedicated to boosting everyday life on the earth and seeing life being actually damaged by such conscious, awful acts is actually jolting to the mind, regardless of that you are actually. As well as the knowledge that every little thing will be various than when our team introduced due to the time we land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I have confidence in our nation as well as in our leadership that our experts are going to perform whatever feasible to far better shield her and our families, and to carry justice wherefore has been actually performed. I possess confidence that the good people at NASA are going to do every little thing essential to continue our purpose securely and return our company safely at the correct time. And I miss out on every one of you significantly. I can't exist along with you face to face, and our experts possess a long way to go to finish our purpose, however be particular that my heart is along with you, as well as know you reside in my prayers.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An upgrade to the final letter ... Fortunately, it's been an active week up listed below. As well as to show that, like our country, our team are continuing on our intended road with organization customarily (as much as achievable). Tonight the most recent addition to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will certainly be actually introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday night (US time), it will dock along with our company, at a slot certainly never made use of before on the low point edge of the Company Element. This brand new module will certainly provide us one more area to dock a Progression or Soyuz as well as will definitely deliver a large airlock along with two able to be used hatches for performing EVA's in Russian Orlan fits, which we will certainly carry out a few of prior to we come home.The problem just before in managing this week was actually insufficient news. The concern right now is a lot of. It arrived simultaneously when e-mail was rejuvenated, and there's not nearly enough time to read all of it! Plus it is actually as well difficult to deal with all of it at the same time. But I appreciate getting it, and also I really enjoy the great letters of support as well as friendship I am actually obtaining.We are succeeding aboard, acquiring our work performed, as well as referring to things. Last night our team possessed a long discussion over dinner concerning the importance of these occasions, the achievable activities to comply with, and what should be actually done. After dinner, Michael challenged informing me that every e-mail he obtained from friends in Russia mentioned especially to tell me exactly how regretful they were actually that this happened, prolonging their acknowledgements, and also inquiring how I was doing. Vladimir instructed me the Russian term for "acknowledgements" after speaking to the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Metropolitan area. (Both the Russian as well as the English words are actually much extremely lengthy to verbalize simply.) Incredibly types folks.For the last pair of times, the Russian MCC has actually sufficed to send live shows of broadcast news about the activity as well as associated tales, to be sure I was actually properly informed. Every professional who has come on the line to talk about an operation or even a concern contends some factor stretched greetings to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed us that because of the special day of remembrance in the United States, all day individuals had been actually taking blossoms and also edging all the wall surfaces of the United States consulate in Moscow, and also this evening they were actually lighting candlesticks in the street outside the embassy. How the planet has actually modified.Folks anywhere seem to be to identify the senselessness as well as scary in this particular attack. As well as the incredible loss. Moscow has taken care of these type of issues in the last few years along with apartment or condo and subway battles, so they are actually as troubled to eliminate this hazard as we are actually. However all-time low product line is that there are really good people almost everywhere who want to stay in peace. I check out that a little one talked to, "United States is so really good to other countries, our company regularly assist everyone, how can they despise our team a lot?".I wish the instance of cooperation and leave that this space capsule and all individuals in the system display daily will someday influence the remainder of the planet to function similarly. They must!Sadly, our company will not be actually flying over the US while people are lighting candle lights. Don't know if our experts could view that in any case. We carried out, nevertheless, find an extremely unusual and gorgeous view a few mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. Our company were actually surpassing it and also it appeared about 3 moments after its own launch coming from Baikonur as the sun attacked our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It looked like a large comet along with a right, broad tail silhouetted against the black earth under. Even with some poor illumination for a while as the sun attacked our home window at a reduced angle, I managed some video recording of it as first our company passed the spacecraft, and afterwards viewed it start to catch up as it obtained altitude and also rate. I recorded until principal engine deadline as well as booster separation happened equally our experts moved toward dawn on the Himalayas. A remarkable view in an unforgettable full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even precede. Our experts are actually listed below to stay ... Frank.